Clarissa's love: Sally or Richard?

 Clarissa looks at her lover for ten years, at the women she always told herself she loved. At the person who lies next to her in bed. The woman she kisses in the morning and in the evening. Her partner, her lover, her girlfriend, doesn’t matter. But when she looks at Richard, her eyes tell a whole different story. You thought you knew her. You thought she loved Sally, and perhaps she does. But that one look she gave to Richard, that one kiss, one touch, change your whole perspective on Clarissa. Does she truly love Sally?

Perhaps Clarissa loves Sally because she allows her to be herself. Sally knows her pain, her deep thoughts but never brings it up. When Sally looks at her, she’s got a kind of sadness in her eyes. A sadness that might be because somehow, she knows that Clarissa will never truly be hers. That she’ll always have to share her, in a way. But she never says a word, she lets it be, she loves Clarissa and she accepts the sacrifices she has to make. I think that’s why Clarissa loves her, because there are no questions. Clarissa is a very melancholic woman. There’s always pain, hurt and a deep sadness around her even when she seems happy. And Sally knows that.

But then what about Richard? Is Richard her true love and Sally only someone she shares her bed with? I don’t think so. Clarissa will always love Richard because he shares her melancholy and pain. Because he feels the way she does. At least, that’s what I believe and understand from the book and the movie.  I think Clarissa’s love for both Sally and Richard are nuanced. It’s not black, it’s not white, it’s grey. It’s not left, nor right, it’s in the middle. I don’t think I could end this post just by saying: Clarissa loves Sally and doesn’t love Richard or the other way around. I don’t think it’s that easy. Michael Cunningham breathed life into this complex character named Clarissa. All her emotions are so deep, but so difficult to follow. Complicated, intense and complex just like life itself.

When Clarissa takes Sally’s head in her hands, looks deep into her eyes and then kisses her, she shows how much she loves Sally. I think she loves Richard and Sally equally, but just in a different way. 

My favourite movie: 3- The Hours

Three different women, connected to each other by one book: Mrs Dalloway, Virginia Woolf.
Three different women, trying to hide their pain with lies.
Three different stories, ending in one.

The first story is Virginia Woolf''s. We follow her while she's writing Mrs. Dalloway until her unexpected suicide in 1941. She seemed so happy...

Nicole Kidman as Virginia Woolf

The second woman is the housewife Laura Brown, living in California, in the fifties. She's got the perfect life: a loving husband, beautiful child and pregnant with a second. But she's stuck in a stifling marriage. She led the life of a stranger and the only moment she could truly be herself was while reading Mrs. Dalloway. And what if she'd make an end to all of it, just like Virginia did? The only thing she had to do was take a few
pills...

Julianne Moore as Laura Brown

The third woman is Clarissa Vaughan, she lives in contemporary New York with her girlfriend Sally, but somehow she seems a re-incarnation of Mrs. Dalloway. She is confident, strong, has lots of friends, gives parties. But what nobody knows, except her old lover Richard, is that the parties she gives are meant to cover the silence...

Meryl Streep as Clarissa Vaughan

Besides the incredible story, the best thing in this movie are the performances of the actors. Evey single actor has created such strong emotions making you stop breathing for a while. You forget absolutely everything. There is no Julianne Moore, no Nicole Kidman, no Ed Harris, no Meryl Streep. There you have, the characters, the people, you have Virginia, Laura, Richard and Clarissa, there's the story. And after the movie, the thinking starts. You start thinking about how they feel, about how you feel, about the extreme emotions laid bare on the water surface. Emotions most movies don't show. The truth without lies. 

As you'd expect: I read the book by Michael Cunningham. It didn't disappoint me a bit! This man has such a gift! Every page makes you shiver. Every letter, every word transports you to this imaginary world of his characters, but it seems so real. As if you had seen Clarissa in the street, this morning. You'd said hello, she smiled while carrying the roses. She did, you remeber it very well! Or maybe she didn't... 

What makes it so special is the feelings the women are dealing with: the emptiness. They  feel like they aren't being themselves. There's something wrong, they feel like living a lie. But nobody wonders if they are okay, people assume they are because they are strong women. 

The soundtrack by Philip Glass is a masterpiece, as you all know soundtracks are one of my obsessions. 

                         "Always the years... 

Always the love...

                         ... Always THE HOURS."

"Mrs. Dalloway, always giving parties....

             .... to cover the silence....."

                "Mrs. Dalloway said she would buy the flowers herself."

                "Sally, I think I'm going to buy the flowers myself!"

(thanks to the person who made this beautiful gif.

Found it on Tumblr.)